So it's official: I am going to race in the Monster's sprint triathlon in October!! Nervous? Yes. Determined? YES. I have always wanted to be one of those people who could go out for a three mile run and feel good about themselves, rather than wish they were running toward that light at the end of the tunnel. I have found lots of training guidelines/programs online...my method? Do it my way.
I realize that this task will be even more difficult and strenuous than I could imagine, but I will continue to train and practice as hard as I can so that I finish. Not win; finish. I don't care if I am dead last.
In other news - I take pride in the fact that for a great majority of my life, I have been pretty conscious about what I eat and how I live. I make sure that I work out at least four times a week (except for special circumstances) and I will usually choose the grilled chicken over the burger. However, it is literally getting worse the more I discipline myself...the cravings, that is. I'm literally pained when I see someone slobbing their cheese fries with ranch. Why can't I just order the cheeseburger with fries and not care about it?! Even if my butt doesn't look bigger fifteen minutes after, why do I always think it does? It is so annoying....
OK, this post doesn't make sense. Sorry bout it.
Monday, August 2, 2010
Vent: Here.
Just so you know, I'm fully aware that the following words are not so much "pearls of wisdom" as they are words of frustration.
While driving to work today, I began pondering a certain situation with a friend that's been on my mind lately. This friend is acting weird. Point blank. Nothing drastic or otherwise notable has happened in either of our lives lately, and yet, it's as if we are suddenly on completely different pages. It is quite possibly the most frustrating, annoying, and upsetting thing that could happen. I just want to shake them and ask "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Then I thought to myself...what if it's just me being crazy? Imagining that there is an issue when in fact, everything is as usual? Such a thought is disturbing, because, I realized, I will never know if it is just me! I can never go outside my own body and look at my own behavior from an objective standpoint. I will always decipher my actions and words as correct, because...well...they're mine.
Really, I'm just flat out bummed. This friend is a good, nay, best friend. And suddenly I feel as if things are not the same...at all. And though I have a slight notion why, I'll never know if that notion is true. Sure, honesty may drive this friend to confess that indeed, something in their life that I wasn't informed about is causing a behavior change. But if this truth is never displayed, I will just go on wondering if it is in fact them, or sadly, me.
Ah, to be a fly on the wall.
While driving to work today, I began pondering a certain situation with a friend that's been on my mind lately. This friend is acting weird. Point blank. Nothing drastic or otherwise notable has happened in either of our lives lately, and yet, it's as if we are suddenly on completely different pages. It is quite possibly the most frustrating, annoying, and upsetting thing that could happen. I just want to shake them and ask "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!"
Then I thought to myself...what if it's just me being crazy? Imagining that there is an issue when in fact, everything is as usual? Such a thought is disturbing, because, I realized, I will never know if it is just me! I can never go outside my own body and look at my own behavior from an objective standpoint. I will always decipher my actions and words as correct, because...well...they're mine.
Really, I'm just flat out bummed. This friend is a good, nay, best friend. And suddenly I feel as if things are not the same...at all. And though I have a slight notion why, I'll never know if that notion is true. Sure, honesty may drive this friend to confess that indeed, something in their life that I wasn't informed about is causing a behavior change. But if this truth is never displayed, I will just go on wondering if it is in fact them, or sadly, me.
Ah, to be a fly on the wall.
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