Three's Company....So is Seven

The first thought that entered my mind when I got engaged was how I was going to pick bridesmaids out of my amazing, and rather LARGE group of friends. Brady and I had discussed who would be included in the bridal party many times before, but I always assumed that once the ring was slipped on my finger, I would have either lost touch with some friends (which would sadly have made my decision easier) or I would have an epiphany about who should be up there standing on "stage" with me.



Ha...Is all I have to say.



Let's start with how I began this strenuous and rather emotional process. First I cried and complained to Brady, insisting that all nine or ten of my friends be bridesmaids, ALONG with my sister as maid-of-honor, and might-as-well-be-sister but is still "in-law" Lauren. When we quickly came to the realization that this was impossible for a number of reasons (one, because it would look kind of obnoxious, and two, because Brady is one of those, "I'd rather have a few best friends than a ton of good friends" kind of people). Then I got so upset over not being able to have EVERYONE in the wedding, I decided it would be my two sisters, and one of my oldest friends, who is practically family. But then, of course, Brady was upset that his few best friends would be cut short....



THERE WAS AND STILL IS LITERALLY NO HAPPY MEDIUM!!!

I literally went from 5, to 3, to only maid-of-honor, to none at all. Never have I been hit with such a dilemma...would feelings get hurt? would my friends be offended? take it personally? think I didn't love them as much as the others?

Finally, I came to the conclusion that those who weren't in my wedding would be the ones who would understand most that the decision isn't about who I am closest too, who I have known longest, or who will look best standing next to me. Telling these girls was one of the hardest things I have ever done, but I know that no hard feelings came from it....ultimately, it is YOUR wedding, and other people can't rationally be upset for not being part of the spotlight.

In other news, these friends of mine are completely included in every other wedding aspect, they just save a couple bucks by not having to buy a poofy, obnoxious bridesmaid dress. ;) (Which of course, mine isn't...)

UP NEXT:

Invitations...Saving money on them, if not solely for the fact because nobody cares about what they look like but you. (well, maybe the moms will care a smidge.)

China, Silver and Lots o' towels

My major break-down moment during this whole planning process came while registering for gifts at Dillard's. If you don't know me that well, let me preface this by filling you in on a little peeve of mine...I despise all department stores. Nothing specifically annoying about Dillard's, it is just the general concept of "Let's pile everything we can think people would need into one single store." I get lost; I get aggravated; and in the case of wedding registries, I apparently get pretty emotional, too.

Brady and I registered at three stores (to accommodate the large number of guests we're inviting): Dillard's, Bed, Bath & Beyond (a must for any soon-to-be married couple) and Home Depot.

First, let me just put this out there point blank: If you are not living with your significant other, and will be starting a new home as well as a new life together, you MUST register at BB&B. Not only are their associates very knowledgable about what you need, but they are efficient, patient and understanding....oh, and did I mention that they have EVERYTHING you need?

Brady and I started our voyage picking out towels. We moved on slowly to bathroom appliances, and arrived quickly in the bedding department. This was our first "speed bump" as some onlookers may say. Brady found a comforter set he loved. Me? Well, I wasn't so keen on it. As I prepared to defend my case about how chosing a comforter was a big deal, something we would be looking at every day, I stopped myself, and chose to instead ask MYSELF a question that I continued to ask throughout the rest of our shopping escapade:

IS IT WORTH THE ARGUMENT?

I mean...this is a bed comforter for crying out loud. My future hubby likes it? I like it. More than that, I like that he cares enough to voice his opinion and trek through the many aisles of plates and silverware with me. Our associate, Anna (I think), informed me that many husbands made themselves comfortable in massage chairs for the duration of the registry process. She also told me that many women come in alone or with mothers, bridesmaids, or wedding coordinators. I can't imagine picking out things that my husband and I BOTH will use, all on my own! But to each his (her) own. For those ladies of you fortunate enough to have a fiance who will h0ld the scanner with you, relish in this luxury, and always remember...he does have an opinion.

Now to the specifics:

1. DON'T be stingy. I found my only argument with myself was "Do you REALLY need this?" The answer? Maybe not. But register for it anyway. If someone gets it for you, and you decide otherwise, it is easily returnable. (at BB&B anyway)

2. I find it helpful to categorize my guests into two groups: the sensible ones, and the spontaneous ones. While registering, I scanned a fair share of towels, plates, pots and pans, etc. However, I didn't neglect to also pick out a nice margarita machine, some decorative pieces, and a massage chair. Think of what your guests WANT to bring you. The parents, friends or parents, and relatives know you NEED towels and kitchen utensils. Your college friends, friends from grade school, and younger cousins WANT to get you some nifty serving dishes that they will one day be scooping queso out of for the superbowl game.

3. On the other hand...be sensible. I registered for some cute dishes I thought would be nice to keep out with mints, candy and other nibbles. When I looked online, however, I realized that one, small, silver "candy" dish, was indeed $80. Did I emphasize that it was small? While I believe stinginess should be thrown out the window...realize that some things are a waste of space, and are just more for your guests to sift through.

4. Get the china. I almost didn't, but I forget...although I'm 21 and will be eating off mine and Brady's mom's china for a few more years...I will someday be a momma. And then I will need china of my own.

5. I suggest printing off a list of necessities for a registry (I got mine at theknot.com) but I didn't use it until after. I registered at the stores, and went online with the list to check off what I had gotten, and to add to the list what I had forgotten.


I realize I may have come off a bit negative by starting this post off by whining about my emotional fits...but in reality, registering is actually exciting and for dear Brady, absolutely exhilerating. (Dillard's has a scanner that YOU use, BB&B unfortunately, does not.) Happy registering!

UP NEXT: Flowers....and other decorations. :)

First thing's First: Don't Loose Sight of the Prize

As I sit aimlessly flipping through huge bridal magazines, jotting down cute ideas and cost-effective tips, I realize the knowledge I am selfishly putting to waste. If it weren't for a select few women in my life, who happen to be undercover geniuses when it comes to planning a wedding, I have a strong notion that mine and my fiance, Brady's, wedding would consist of multiple boxes of Domino's pizza, cheap wine and beer, and of course, a quick trip to City Hall for the nuptials.

What I'm trying to say is: getting the ring is all fine and dandy...but pretty quickly the timeless questions from distant relatives and old high school friends start flooding in about "Have you picked a date yet?" "Where is the wedding?" and "Have you chosen a honeymoon spot?" Without a moment's notice, and without the courtesy of, oh, a month to grasp the fact that you are due to be a bride, you are thrust into a whirlwind of planning, and, more importantly, paying.

Which is why I have decided to jot down my tips of advice, ALL from experience, for those future brides who will sooner or later find themselves drowning in white laced invitations and business cards from caterers. Mark my words ladies; it is soooo much easier said than done. Oh, and people like Jennifer Lopez on "The Wedding Planner" do not exist....that is unless your pocketbook is the size of a small country.

Each blog will consist of a word (well, hopefully more than just one) of advice on planning a wedding. This blog, seeing as it is my first and therefore most important, will set the tone for the following posts. I believe that this bit of advice truly does surpass all others. It encompasses the entire idea of planning a wedding, and I do believe, if followed, it will make for not only a successful stretch of planning, but also for a glorious and flawless final product:

LADIES: DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THIS ONE SIMPLE FACT...NOT ONLY ARE YOU PLANNING A WEDDING, YOU ARE PLANNING A MARRIAGE.

(I hope the emphasis on the font got that message through.)

Every time I get stressed about whether or not to use chair covers, if I registered for enough bath towels, where Brady and I will live, etc., I take heed of the advice a fellow bride gave me: no tears of sadness or anger should be wasted on the planning of such a special day. It is after all just ONE day, and the rest of you and your other half's lives is a much more important ordeal to focus on. That is to say, this man that you are planning the entire wedding, reception, honeymoon and all other shenanigans for will be by your side for the rest of your life (God willing.) No hurtful words should be uttered at one another, simply because you can't decide what type of shoes the bridesmaids should wear. This man is the REASON you are going through the hoops and hurdles to make this one special day perfect. INVOLVE him in the planning process (I don't think it's just Brady....guys are more involved and concerned about the wedding than you would think). And most importantly, each time you feel that surge of anxiety coming over you, just smile and reflect on how he proposed. On how you felt when he got down on one knee and asked you to be his forever. Hold that moment so close, and I would honestly suggest reliving it at least once a week as a reminder of the reason for this charade.

This may seem an odd way to start off a post about wedding advice....I can only hope it makes you realize that although there is MUCH planning and advice to give about weddings, it is after all only one day. Keep this simple fact in mind, that your marriage is the most important thing, and I wholeheartedly believe your wedding will be exactly what it is meant to be: the most incredible, special and breathtaking day of you AND your fiance's life.

Next up:

Registries. Do I really need that china? And where do I draw the line when I get scanner-happy running around the department stores? In my recent experience, I find registries are so much more complex than one could imagine. Although it is still an adrenaline rush picking out which coffee-maker you and your guy will use every morning, there are some general rules I believe every future bride should follow...Stay tuned, lovebirds.